Sunday, December 10, 2006

ANA CHI POLY

(Anagrams, China and Polygamy)


I always love anagrams, and recently I came across this hilarious, amusing one by Tony Crafter:

Apparently, one in five people in the world are Chinese. There are five people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mother or father or it's my older brother Colin or it's my younger brother Ho Cha Song Sa Chu. But I think it's Colin.
=
Inferior logic. It obviously can't be my mom or my pop, for neither venture anywhere near the Chinese restaurant. Furthermore, my brother Colin (timid poof) likes pie 'n' chips. Ho politely doesn't say a thing. Therefore it has to be... Oh hell! It's me!

What a witty way to spot the population problem in China; and what a good laugh! Unfortunately, population problem in China is actually no laughing matter.

We all know how China struggles with it- and at what cost. Currently China is of the population of 1.3 billion, and the number could have increased by a quarter if not for the one-child-per-family rule. The birth of about 300 million babies -almost entirely female- has been prevented since the policy was first in effect in 1980. We are talking about 300 million female babies who were aborted selectively, or were born and then just left to die when the family favored a son. The price of curbing the runaway population growth has been very high, but if you think the "missing girls" were the only ones to pay it, think again. Eventually the boys must also pay their share.

By 2020, China will be flocked by some forty million men of marriageable age who will not find a wife, simply because the females who might marry them were never born. Over forty million unattached males wandering off the streets and crowding around pubs with nobody to come home to- utterly scary! More than mere social problem (pimps being encouraged), it's a recipe for riot. No sane gov't would find anything funny about it.

Yet here in Indonesia we are facing a different plight when it comes to marriage issues. Unlike China, Indonesia has a constant surplus of females, thus the main concern should be of these spouseless women with nobody to support them. Just when some renowned cleric decided that taking a second wife seemed like a good idea to help the situation, the polemics started like hell. The gov't is now considering widening the ban on polygamy for civil servants to cover all officials working for the state, amidst the pros and cons of everyone who suddenly thinks he/she has something to say over the matter.

Polygamy is beyond any doubt a complex practice. Muslim males cry for their religious rights to take up to four wives, yet here and there Muslim scholars point out the deficiencies of such -allegedly- misled thinking. Aspects other than religion are also concerned: social, cultural, ethical, financial, biological. Surprisingly, the object of this practice does not respond in unison. Some women shake their heads firmly in dignity, others literally welcome the idea. But let's put all prejudices aside; let's stick to the fact: Indonesia has a surplus of females. It is going to be a bit hard to get all these spare women married when the gov't legally opts against polygamy.

So on the one hand, China is going to crave brides, and on the other hand Indonesia is about to let millions of women spouseless.

What's the logical solution of these two situations?

Crystal-clearly simple- export brides to China. Keep the number of women in Indonesia only to fit the number of men. Count the advantages: Increase on Gross Domestic Product. Cultural expansion to the massive territory of China. A boost in bilateral relation as the two families will subsequently visit each other (not to mention the possibility of small scale joint enterprises to emerge between). Monetary gain as China's economy is soaring high. It's a polygamy-less, sparkling future.

We will also have a substantial improvement in how the male members of our society treat their counterparts. No more harassment. The end of any sort of subjugation. Domestic violence will be history. Imagine the girls boldly say, "Don't mess with me, boy. Or else I'll leave you for China". Because she could.

Tony Crafter would have to create a new anagram.


Note:
An anagram is a word play; the result of rearranging letters into some sort of parallel. Perhaps it's best to define anagrams anagramically: "Anagrams = Ars Magna" (Latin for Great Art).
Examples of short anagrams:

The eyes = they see
Eleven plus two = Twelve plus one
Internet addiction = Cannot end it. I tried.
Iraq oil + arms trade = Al-Qaida terrorism
The typical blonde-haired woman = On the whole, rated incapably dim.
Bonnie Parker & Clyde Barrow = Known pair declare: "Robbery!"

Friday, December 01, 2006

A THING OF BEAUTY


I went to a fashion show last night.

I am not the sort of girl who frequents fashion shows, and I hesitated before actually going, but yes, I was there last night. To my great surprise, it was not as flashily tedious as I thought it would be.

Because it got me thinking, even with all the hedonistic crowd and music so loud.

Models walked to and fro on “catwalk” and they did seem like cats- purring, satisfied, cunning, dangerous cats. They hid their claws. They were without flaws. Those models were so awfully beautiful that I thought they were creatures from another earth.

Well I have this prejudice about beauty. I believe that in most cases beautiful means brainless. Perhaps you are actually bright, but the more striking your beauty is, the less you need to make use of your grey cells. Being beautiful is enough work. Hence, as I was saying, in most cases beautiful means brainless.


Anomalies?- there are some. I heard Natalie Portman had brain (so was the rumour about Dian Sastro –an Indonesian celeb- but I’m not convinced). Jewel and Vanessa Mae could be in the list. And Arundhati Roy.

And these models pampered in extravagant dresses- I tried to find anomalies last night; to break the myth. But when you see models on catwalk what do you see?


Bodies.


It sounds derogatory, yet that’s the stalk-naked truth. Mere bodies.


“It takes bright girls to be models, I reckon. What with all these sophisticated walking and turning around. You have to estimate the angle of your turn, or else you will shamefully stumble. Something to do with physics, eh?”, Pristi, standing next to me, whispered in a suppressed giggle.


“It takes a lot of practise and that’s about all”, I replied coldly.

“Aww come on-“
“No, I’m not going to buy your campaign of how bright models are”.

Because, if they have beauty, elegance, and brains, all in one package, what’s left for ordinary girls like me? That will make Life seem a bit unfair.


So long as gorgeous models are concerned, I’ll only go so far as to admit that underneath the glamorous images, a whole bunch of hardworking is involved.

They have to walk back and forth for hours to rehearse a two-minute appearance on stage. The demanding “healthy” diets for those slender bodies. The bills for pots of cream to keep their skin so silky smooth. Having their make-up on since 12am while the show won’t start before 7pm. Not to mention the guts to show your body around like that in clothes that are more revealing than covering. And just imagine the backstage- it takes skills and a strong will (and perhaps a certain moral standard, ha ha) to undress completely among a crowd, don’t you think? These are things not everyone can do. Models, in their own ways, even excluding their divine bodies, ARE superb.


But they are not necessarily bright. I’m sorry that I choose to be undoubtedly arbitrary as to stick to my prejudice. I’m going to say it for the third time: in most cases beautiful means brainless. Brain and beauty just don’t go together- Nadine Chandrawinata has already showed us a good example.


Names:
Natalie Portman: actress (Starwars, Garden State, Closer, V for Vendetta, etc) and international celeb

Dian Sastro: actress (Ada Apa dengan Cinta, Ungu Violet, Pasir Berbisik), presenter (Who Wants 2b A Millionaire –Indonesia) and Indonesian celeb

Jewel: singer and writer- www.jeweljk.com

Vanessa Mae: violin player

Arundhati Roy: Indian writer (The God of Small Things, The Cost of Living)

Pristi: one of my best friends- see her pictures in my album!

Nadine Chandrawinata: Miss Indonesia 2005, known for her ridiculous blunder during Miss Universe 2006 pageant.


To Yessi, my model friend for whom I went to the show: of course you have brains, girl! YOU are an anomaly.