ON BIRTHDAY
Note 1Birthdays should be the moment when you make a halt—to sit and contemplate what you’ve done with your life already, and what you want to do next.
When I was younger, I did not mind doing that. But the older I get, the more reluctant I am to “contemplate the past & plan the future”.
I can’t help feeling (and am sure I am not alone) a sense of loss—of the time passed—the time that can never be reversed. I am not young anymore. How time flies. And with every breath I take, an opportunity of becoming “another me” is lost, while “myself” comes more into being.
I am not sorry for what I am. I am not sorry for what I have done. I AM sorry for what I haven’t done, though; for what I could have become.
If I were 5, I could still grow up to be a space traveler. Or a dancer. Or a lawyer. Or a painter. Perhaps that’s why the world is always full of wonders in the eyes of children—because unlimited opportunities and endless possibilities hang about the air—like sparkling bubbles that they can reach when they extend their hands—like being surrounded by tender little lights of millions of fireflies—it has a magical quality in it.
But I am twenty something now—the magic has gone; I see the world as it is. No matter how keen the space traveler or lawyer or painter in me are, I cannot be them anymore. To think about the opportunities I have missed; the different paths I could have walked on—really, I ALMOST hate birthdays.
Labels: birthday
posted by eloque @ 2:35 AM
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