Saturday, November 04, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAS JASON

Meskipun sedikit terlambat, saya ingin mengucapkan selamat ulang tahun kepada Mas Jason.
Mudah2an Mas Jason mendapatkan segala yang terindah yang layak didapatkan orang sebaik mas Jason.
The same goes to mbak Jen.
The two of you have a place in my heart.

posted by eloque @ 10:26 AM What Say You?: 0

SAY NO TO FORGIVING

(Lebaran Bits pt.2)

I just realised how cheap and trifling forgiveness was. I mean in Indonesia, particularly with the atmosphere of the blessed Idul Fitri lingering on, forgiveness has always been cheap, yet the subtext never really dawns on anyone.

Yes my friend, I'm starting a campaign!
Aren't you tired-to-death of forgiving people? Isn't it curious how they seem to keep making the same mistakes, and then apologise, and then start all over again in a silly cycle where YOU play the kind-hearted fool? Isn't it odd how you play the fool in one cycle yet probably the knaves in others?

Come on now. Admit that there are people that you take less seriously because you know they will always forgive you no matter what mischief you do. Like, you deliberately come late to an appointment and you don't feel sorry. No worries, they're easy. On the contrary, you make a mental grouping of the sort of people who won't take it easy. With them you behave.

What makes the difference? One forgives you easily, the other does not. Yet one thing you probably don't realise yourselves: you (slightly) look down on those whom you can "fool". Using the theses in reverse, I can sum up that if you don't want people to look down on you, then don't let them get away with it easily when they make a mistake.

Gold is valuable because it's rare and scanty. What you can get without efforts will be taken for granted. Think about it. Be hard-hearted. Be mean. Don't forgive those unworthy of forgiveness. Forgiveness (and apologies) should be more sacred, more solemn, more sincere. I'm sick of these people saying sorry in a casual way, without any trace of penitence whatsoever. You know they don't mean it. Yet there is this social pressure to conduct what is proper: to forgive them accordingly. The funny thing is, they know you don't mean it. So the problem is (superficially) solved, both parties are (superficially) happy, hypocrisy ends the story. Man, this gotta stop.

My (tentative) campaign goes something like this:
DO NOT FORGIVE PEOPLE IF THEY DO NOT SEE WHAT THEY DID WRONG.
DO NOT FORGIVE PEOPLE IF THEY ARE NOT TRULY SORRY.
DO NOT FORGIVE PEOPLE IF THEY DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MEND WHAT THEY HAVE CRUSHED.
DO NOT FORGIVE PEOPLE WHO CANNOT APPRECIATE FORGIVENESS.
DO NOT FORGIVE PEOPLE WHO CANNOT LEARN FROM A MISTAKE.

Come on all people! For social reforms, let's crowd the streets!

(The content of this post is, of course, a parody. I apologise if it causes you any inconvenience. And I know you WILL forgive me, coz forgiveness is ALWAYS cheap; yours' no exception. Ha ha.)

posted by eloque @ 9:04 AM What Say You?: 0

Maaf (Bukan Barang) Obralan

(Lebaran Bits pt.2, Indonesian version)

Hari-hari ini saya jadi menyadari betapa murah dan remeh-temehnya sebuah maaf. Tentu saja ini hal lazim di Indonesia, apalagi sementara kemeriahan Idul Fitri masih di depan mata. Saking biasanya, tidak banyak orang yang keberatan dengan maaf obralan, dan tidak banyak pula yang menilik ada apa di belakang.

Biar saya yang memulai kampanye ini. Bukankah kita semua sudah kepayahan terus-terusan memaafkan orang? Bukankah aneh bahwa yang dimaafkan acapkali mengulangi kesalahan yang sama, dan minta maaf lagi, dan terus berputar dalam siklus konyol di mana kita kebagian peran sebagai si Pandir-nya? Bukankah lucu bahwa si Pandir di satu siklus ternyata berjaya menjadi si Buaya dalam siklus-siklus lainnya?

Ayolah, jujur saja. Memang ada orang-orang tertentu yag bisa kita "kadali" kan? Orang-orang yang dikerjai seperti apapun masih mau memaafkan kita. Yang kita bisa santai bersiul-siul meski terlambat janjian dengan mereka. Toh mereka tidak akan marah. Minta maaf sambil nyengir, bereslah. Sebaliknya ada juga orang-orang yang tergolong "garis keras" dan segalak satpam. Dengan mereka kita tidak berani macam-macam.

Apa bedanya? Sederhana: yang satu gampang memaafkan dan yang lain tidak. Tapi seringnya kita tidak sadar: dalam hati, kita (sedikit) memandang rendah mereka yang gampang dikadali. Dengan membalik premisnya, bisa disimpulkan bahwa kalau kita tidak ingin dipandang sebelah mata, jangan memberi maaf cuma-cuma.

Kenapa emas dianggap berharga? Karena langka; tidak banyak jumlahnya. Apa yang bisa dengan mudah diperoleh tidak akan benar-benar dihargai, ini kita mengerti. Untuk urusan maaf-memafkan pun setali tiga uang. Keras hatilah sedikit. "Dingin" sedikit. Jangan obral maaf pada yang tidak layak mendapatkannya. Maaf (dan permintaan maaf) seharusnya lebih suci, lebih khidmat, lebih tulus. Orang-orang yang minta maaf seenaknya saja, tanpa menunjukkan penyesalan sedikit pun, cuma bikin muak. Bayi juga tahu itu basa-basi belaka. Namun kita "ditekan" untuk menanggapi seperti ajaran PMP, alias memaafkan mereka dengan senyum lebar. Yang lucu, mereka juga tahu kita tidak sungguh-sungguh memaafkan. Tapi dalam panggung sosial, masalah sudah diselesaikan, kedua pihak berjabat tangan, cerita rampung dengan kemunafikan. Bung, malpraktek begini mesti berhenti!

Kampanye saya kira-kira akan begini bunyinya:
JANGAN MAAFKAN ORANG YANG TIDAK BISA MELIHAT KESALAHANNYA!
JANGAN MAAFKAN ORANG YANG TIDAK SUNGGUH-SUNGGUH MENYESAL!
JANGAN MAAFKAN ORANG YANG TIDAK BERUSAHA MEMPERBAIKI KEADAAN!
JANGAN MAAFKAN ORANG YANG TIDAK BISA MENGHARGAI MAAF!
JANGAN MAAFKAN ORANG YANG TIDAK MAU BELAJAR DARI KESALAHAN!

Bapak-bapak dan Ibu-ibu! Ayo turun ke jalan dan kita reformasi ini sosial punya aturan!

(Isi tulisan ini, tentu saja, adalah parodi. Mohon maaf bila ada bagian-bagian yang kurang berkenan untuk Anda. Dan saya tahu bahwa saya pasti akan dimaafkan, karena di mana-mana maaf memang murah, dan Anda bukan pengecualian. Ha ha.)

posted by eloque @ 8:33 AM What Say You?: 0

Friday, November 03, 2006

BANANA SPLIT

(Lebaran Bits pt.1)

Sometimes on a sizzling, fasting day in tropical Indonesia, Idul Fitri took the shape of a few scoops of ice-cream to me. People sure had more philosophical views on the sacred meaning and prominent importance of Idul Fitri, but the right to claim ice-cream, to enjoy it on one scorching hot day, was about what mattered most when the heat (hence dehydration) drove me to the verge of lunacy.

It is clearly understood, then, that everyone looked forward to the “arrival” of Idul Fitri. And it is equally clearly understood that the annual battle of determining when-it-befalls somewhat became less and less enticing to me.

It’s that “hisab and rukyat” thing. It’s whether you will trust your astronomical calculations or your very own eyes. Now I’m not going to go into details. In most cases, what you see is what you get, but when it comes to seeing a (hazy, tiny, hardly visible) object on the far sky, one might be intrigued to seek encouragement in other methods (if any). This year both Muhammadiyah –who trusts their hisab- and Nahdlatul Ulama –who relies on their rukyat- had publicly agreed to disagree. That was to say that they decided to go their separate ways and each wouldn’t give a darn of what the other did. Seemingly the two schools of thoughts took “pleasure” in retaining their constant animosities, whilst ignorant fellows like I were caught in the middle. So some had their ice-cream on Oct 23 and some on Oct 24.

Leaders of the two so-called giant Islamic organisations had both declare that there was to be no “open dispute” in the grass-root concerning their different ice-cream days. The Minister of the Dept. of Religions hastily nodded his approval. Even the President urged the two parties involved in this “war of nerves” to view the matter as the freedom for religious expressions and thus to “behave” themselves. It was a formal assent for the Idul Fitri split. And splits are sure natural; even trees have branches. Yet I just can’t find my way to be so indulgingly tolerant to man-made split on things you could actually reconcile; if only you had the will.

Except for Banana Split. But of course in that case you have three scoops of ice-cream in between (instead of this Idul-Fitri-date row), and it’s a good man-made thing. Oh, I love ice-cream.

(As to what day I had my ice-cream, can you guess, guys?
It was on Oct 28, unfortunately, coz I was too busybusybusy to get it sooner. Shame!)

posted by eloque @ 1:02 AM What Say You?: 0