THE LAST BITS & PIECES
(Many people complained about the *quality* of my writings lately, i.e. the lovey-dovey stuffs. My sincere apologies for not being able to keep up with your expectations. I promise this will be the last piece in my “Love” series. Then let’s talk about soup-opera-like conflicts with Malaysia or the presidential campaign-- just as you like it!)Marry Me By Next Year
This is a story about someone I knew: a girl blessed with extraordinary beauty & an amiable disposition. Men went after her like a group of dazed bees. But she wasn’t into dating—she was one of those “pure girls” who want to go straight to the wedding vow, be a good housewife and breed babies.Because she is always timid and sweet, you’d think her weak & indecisive. So wrong. Just when she felt she was of age, she announced that she wanted to get married by next year. To whom? Dunno yet.
Quite a shock for me. This was a girl who left so many hearts broken because she wanted a Prince Charming, nothing less. And suddenly she was ready to marry anyone just to get her target achieved? Are you kidding me? It’s marriage, man—it’s no trivial matter!
She did get married the next year, by the way. To a “blackhorse” one wouldn’t consider a suitor in the first place. Many hearts were bleeding open—but then she got what she wanted. A husband & a kid now, and a happy life.
Was that love? It’s more like she made a bet—and got lucky.
It’s Just A Feeling
A drunkard was drinking heavily in a bar and got into a conversation with a stranger beside him. He told that stranger, “I love my family so much. I love my wife and my kids. I am nothing without them”.
But then he spent his time in bars getting drunk day-in day-out. His wife struggled alone with the house chores & the kids did not have anything to say to the daddy.
“If you love them you shouldn’t be here being wasted. You should be with them”, said the stranger.
“But my feelings are true! I truly, deeply love them! I am not lying; I really love them!”
What a joke. Love is not just a feeling; love is an action.
It reminds me of myself: all the years when I *felt* I loved my sempai.
It was just a feeling. In reality I did not do anything about him. It was not love.
As far as feelings go, I am deeply in love with Gong Yoo. And Sakaguchi Kenji. And Christian Bale. I am not lying! I feel very strongly for them. Now who would say these are loves?
How Long Does the Hormone Last?
A worthwhile 2005 Korean sappy series, My Lovely Sam Soon, got me thinking. There is a couple in the story: the girl is a dazzling med school student and the guy is a spoiled rich brat. The guy is madly in love with her, to which she laughingly explains, “It’s just the hormones”.They will be in love just as long as the hormones are still flowing in their bodies, being pumped to their brains.
How long does the hormone last?
Approximately two years, she said. You’ll be tired of me after two years, she said. That is a very disheartening statement.
But didn’t I tell you that being in love is not love? You have been warned.
The Myth of True Love
I have this stubborn belief that the myth of true love is responsible of many of the breakings-up of otherwise repairable relationships.
You think in your life there is “one true love” you have yet to find. You and the fated one are “meant for each other” as “a match made in Heaven”—everything will be just perfect when you are finally together.
When later on you find out that it’s not exactly perfect, you back off. You think you’ve made a mistake recognizing “the one”. You think you should break free from this relationship ASAP, and start searching for “the one” again, “the TRUE one”.
Gimme a break. To begin with, nothing is perfect. Even if you think that it is, it is not. (Except if you take this argument into a whole higher level of spiritual realm—then *everything* is indeed perfect.)
Blame it on the fairy tales you heard when you were little—truth is, Prince Charming does have his own worries and fears—he’s not one supreme being whose sole purpose in life is solve all your problems. He goes to the bathroom, too, you know.
So this is your wake-up call. True love is something you work for; it is not Given. To love is to labor. Destiny has little to do with your well-being, because happiness is a state of mind.
Let’s see things as they are, shall we readers? “True love is just co-dependency with a better soundtrack”.
posted by eloque @ 8:12 AM
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