Friday, April 24, 2009

THE HEIRS OF NARCISSUS

I often wonder just how far one would go to appease someone he/she loves.

This is a blatant debility typical to those “in love”. I remember my own best friend undergoing such an ordeal shopping for a pineapple her boyfriend asked for on HER birthday, and it was pretty exasperatingly comical how she (we) struggled to bring the darn pineapple home by a tiny scooter, along with heaps of other goods we bought.

Well, it WAS comical, until it turned out that the couple had a row (on
her BIRTHDAY!) and he ended up returning all her things from his room, including, guess what, our own darn pineapple, untouched. So in the evening of her birthday, the two of us struggled once more, this time to finish the famous pineapple. Tragedy.

Seeing it as an event afar in the past now, I must admit that the wh
ole tribulation was actually quite droll. Even more surprising to me, they made up soon after! Why on earth she could endure such a treatment I cannot tell. What other impediments he has imposed on her I would not long to hear. After the Pineapple Incident, I refuse to stand for my friend’s sanity whenever this guy is involved.

How come one causes so much trouble to others, and yet they still cling
to him/her? Except for familial relationships, I find it hard to accept. If he hurts you, if he treats you like dirt, you MUST walk away. Even better, kick his arse as you walk away. And kick it hard.

But no, you would linger. You would seemingly do anything to please the
one you love, even if he/she would not do the same to you. You’d call it sacrifice; you see yourself a martyr of love. What a bunch of hokum. I’ll tell you what’s going on exactly:

1. He/she is the heir of Narcissus; the person he/she loves best is him/herself. NOT you.

2. You have a masochism tendency; better go consult a shrink.

These heirs of Narcissus are not necessarily as good-looking, mind you.
Don’t be deceived by their looks. One thing they have in common is that they are so full of themselves they hardly have a room for you. Real love, on the other hand, is about sharing metaphorical common rooms for you both to grow spiritually together.

Echo, the nymph falling victim to Narcissus, ended up pining away in
a cave. Alone. Not a good sign at all. I guess I better give my friend some hints!

DON'T LET HIM CALL YOU PET!


Pet, huh?


Truth is, my idea of a pet is a virtual one: (fluff)Friend, Tamagotchi and the likes. Being not so caring, I used to admire those pet-owning friends of mine for their great capacity for love and care. I envied the pets for being so much adored. I envied girls who were adored like pets. “Jane, pet, I have missed you!”, said John, hugging her So sweet, I used to think.

Not anymore.

Today, if I hear another “Jane, pet, I have missed you”, I will most probably frown and feel sorry for the girl.

I have come to realize that your “love” to a pet is not love. Love allows independent thoughts, personal colors. Love is about two SUBJECTS choosing to be together.

The case with your pet is different. By definition, a pet is something you take care of; something you feed and play with. You are essential for it to thrive. Your sentiments exactly: you do want to have control and superiority over your pet. You want it to be loyal and dependent— to be your OBJECT. That’s the whole point.

He who calls his sweetheart “pet” is subconsciously expecting the girl to be an object. John wants loyalty and obedience; Jane will be loved and adored as long as she keeps her thoughts to herself. The problem starts when Jane tries to get the message across that she’s not a puppy.

I value my independence too much to ever commit a master-pet relationship. I do not want to be called pet either. Nor should you. Show that you OBJECT being treated as an OBJECT; do not let him call you pet!