Sunday, December 12, 2010

Better Ways to Answer “How are You?”

(Melbourne Notes - Written in 2009)

I never thought my supposedly smooth transition will be crippled by such a trivial thing as everyday how-are-you’s. I coped gracefully with bigger things: the new job, the language, the cold (imagine a tropical creature journeys in winter), the settling-in, the food. But in the first weeks, there were always those awkward seconds before I could respond to a simple “How are you?”.

I believe it is cultural! We do greet each other with a genial “Apa kabar?” (how-are-you equivalent in Bahasa), but certainly we don’t apa-kabar each other every 5-minute! In Indonesia, if you see them & interact with them on a daily basis, a nice good-morning and an occasional “hi” every time you bump into them will be sufficient. But in Western culture they fire on with how-are-you every time they set eyes on you. Or so I felt.

Then followed the awkward seconds in which I struggled for an answer.

It was hard for me to respond readily because I could not tell if they sincerely wanted to know how I was or if it was just something mechanical; something meaningless that did not demand meaningful answer.

If I were honestly feeling low, should I just say it? Would they care or would they brush it off? If they cared, I might have to elaborate. But would I care to? I’m not someone who could just pour my heart out to a perfect stranger.

But if this whole how-are-you thing is just mechanical, why bother answering it anyway? Could I just brush it off?

See? All these “philosophical” questions passed through my mind every time a random, well-meaning person asked me that simple “How are you?”. And if I was an idiot for taking three days to realize that the office has no tea girls, I must have been a bigger idiot for taking three WEEKS to get it into my system that I shouldn’t worry about the (in)sincerity of the meaning; I should just take it as a cultural thing and produce a prompt “Good. Yourself?” with a genuine smile, both in the ups and downs of my day.

So I got over it now. You can how-are-you me every 5-minute and I wouldn’t bother. Except that now I’m feeling a bit bored with the words good/fine/well as universal answers. Surely there are better ways to respond to this standard greeting! “Never been better”. “Still hangin’ on”. “Getting there”. “Fabulous”. “Sensational”. “Like sunshine!”. "Living my dreams". Oh, I can invent other things and heaps of them. So you’ll be surprised the next time you fire your “How are you?” at me! :)

PS:

This is something that happened during my Uni years, when I was a part-time Bahasa teacher in Jogja. One of my favourite students, a British diplomat, came to me and idly asked me to translate “Mustn’t grumble” to Bahasa. “Why would you need to say ’mustn’t grumble’ anyway?”, I was sincerely curious. “Alternative answer to how-are-you”, he said. NOW I know what he meant. “Good” is just sooooooo boring! :)

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posted by eloque @ 4:33 AM What Say You?: 0

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

WHERE'S THE TEA GIRL?

(Melbourne Notes pt.1)

First day in the office is always both challenging & interesting, isn’t it? On the first day, my “buddy” (the colleague assigned the extra burden of ensuring my smooth landing) was out in the offshore platform, so I was practically a lost lamb.

Finding the restroom was easy, but finding out how things run here was a bit trickier. You see, I came from a feudalistic culture. An average desk-jockey tadpole as I was, I STILL had my tea served in the morning, my water cup re-filled in the afternoon and another cup of coffee if I so requested. But there I was in a Melbourne office, struggling with LAN connection, and the clock was ticking and I was starting to feel thirsty, but WHERE THE HELL WAS THE TEA GIRL?

I popped my head in the hall way, hoping to catch a glance of some suspect-tea-girl, but saw none. I thought the tea girls had not been aware that I existed there, since it was only my first day. Very well, I had got my bottle of water anyway.

The second day dawned and the tea girl was still nowhere to be seen.

On the third day, I was running out of drinks (and patience) when FINALLY I saw someone holding up a mug of milk. She was coming out of a small hidden room I hadn’t ventured to. Curiously, if timidly, I set my foot in the room.. and Voila! A huge fridge! Cartons of milk inside! A big can of Milo & Nescafe! Drawers full of plastic glasses, spoons, forks, knives.

So they don’t have tea girls in Melbourne. Everything is self-service. You thirsty, mate? Go get your own cup of water. It took me three days to realize that. Idiot!

This story remains my favorite anecdote about settling into Melbourne office life. I soon found that they have no bystander office boys, too. No, there’s no one to run errands for you. Moving to another room? No handyman to help you with those heavy boxes. No copier guy when you need to generate numerous copies of review material either. Mails are not delivered right to your desk, but to some corner of pigeon holes that you have to check daily by yourself. Indeed you are expected to do many things on your own.

On weighing the current office culture with my previous experience in Jakarta, I cannot tell if one is better than the other, really. I did mention the feudalistic culture, but the thing is, Indonesian population is massive & the work force so big that it’s literally impossible to create jobs for everyone. With limited job opportunities, here and there people are forced to take “part time job” as their only source of income or share one job with other folks (pseudo-underemployment). The employers are also “forced” to create jobs that are probably unnecessary. Can’t Jakarta folks make tea on their own? Sure they can. But it’s just unimaginable for an established office in Jakarta not to have tea girls & office boys. It’s cultural, but more than that it’s the socioeconomic mould.

I bet I’d feel funny when I’m back to Jakarta and having the good-natured lady serving my morning tea again!



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posted by eloque @ 9:54 PM What Say You?: 0